"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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