I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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