i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
