She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
