I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
