I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
