OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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