awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
