This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
