a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
