it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
