He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
