Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
