I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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