Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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