I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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