My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
