i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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