We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
