Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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