i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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