New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
