Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize