so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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