yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
