i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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