Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
