one might say we're banned from that church
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize