going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
