We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We have started to decorate penises.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
