I am in a vortex of obligation.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
