1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
