So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize