Fuck appropriateness.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
