Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
