she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My breath smells like gin and sadness
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize