Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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