and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
