Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
