what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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