Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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