There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
