I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
