she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
