Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize