shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
