They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize