Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
