I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
