Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
