I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
