how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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