Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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