gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
