dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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