I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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