I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
