hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
zippers are such a cool invention
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
