I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize