i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
organizing the empties. That sober.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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