I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
