im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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