i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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