why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You ruined the universe
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
