Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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