Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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